Last night, my roommate and I were talking about my accident and how I explain it to someone on a date and I started to get emotional. For the most part, I've found guys are awkward about it and avoid questions or the subject all together. Of course, there have been a few exceptions and I've had a handful of positive experiences. I suppose it's awkward date talk but it's tied to a lot of pieces of my life like why I went back to school so it's unavoidable.
The most awkward moment is when I show someone my neck scar. More often than not, I've been told it's not that bad or it could've been worse. I believe these comments are said with the intention to make me feel better, but in these moments I clam up, become uncomfortable and feel misunderstood. Something that has played an integral role in my life and has made me the person that I am today feels diminished.
It's true, I'm lucky. My scars on my neck and arm fade everyday. I'm an able-bodied human that can walk and my cognitive functions were not impaired. But that doesn't change the very shitty emotional roller coaster I experienced post accident for years. It doesn't get rid of the painful amount of anxiety I experienced around death and the thought of losing a loved one. Chalking it up to luck doesn't celebrate the growth I've experienced and the career change I've embarked on.
Maybe I'm totally in my head; I know people have their own shit and maybe this is just mine. I'll never be able to change how someone reacts or responds to my story but I want to work on not letting someone else's response diminish how I feel about my experience.
How do you share your story or something of value to you and react when people respond?
Just a girl writing down her thoughts on life post-trauma, body acceptance and wellness.