Why do we not treat ourselves with the same respect and love we give others?
Generally speaking, we tend to be very hard on ourselves. Letting our critical voice come out on a daily basis, putting ourselves down for how we look, what we say or what we do.
Is that the way you treat your friends and family? Probably not! But hey, it’s totally normal and we all do it! I’m guilty of it too from time to time, but it’s something I’ve been working on these past few months. I’ve found that the kinder I am to myself, the happier I am overall.
Self-loathing more often than not is based on physical appearance. As I mentioned in my previous blog, We Can All Use a Bit of Self-Love, we live in a world with a distorted image of beauty. We’re constantly being fed images of celebrity women, giving us an unrealistic image of what beauty is. Immediately we start to judge ourselves if we don’t fit that profile of beauty. But as I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and the comparison becomes detrimental to our self-confidence.
First things first, we need to stop the self-judgment. Judgment keeps you stuck. Let me give you an example. If you really want to lose weight, but you can’t accept the current weight you’re holding onto, you will continue to judge yourself. Then if you do lose weight, you still won’t be happy. Why? Because, you didn’t stop the judgment to begin with. If you lose a few pounds that’s great, but that critical voice will still be there in your head, ready to knock down any progress you have made. Try working on stopping the self-judgment, it won’t get you anywhere!
It’s also important to work on being mindful. Mindful of your thoughts and when that critical voice comes out. A lot of times we don’t even notice we are putting ourselves down. It has become a habit to pick ourselves apart when we look at a mirror. So try and be mindful of your thoughts. If you start critiquing yourself, stop it! Take a breathe and tell yourself to stop putting yourself down. Try giving yourself a compliment for once!A good habit to start is every morning when you wake up is to say three positive things about yourself. They don’t have to be physical, they can be personality traits as well.
Here’s an example: (note these are ones I did for myself so they may not apply to everyone)
Lastly, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. This one is super difficult, but it’s something we are ALL guilty of doing. We compare ourselves to an unrealistic expectation of what beauty is, as defined by the media. But bottom line is, if you don’t have the strength to accept yourself, you don’t have the strength to change. The comparisons are just destroying your self-esteem. Stop comparing and start embracing yourself for who you are. We are all unique in our own way, so embody who you are.
Just a girl writing down her thoughts on life post-trauma, body acceptance and wellness.